This is a story about a man who on the surface seemed like he had everything. I was in awe when I pulled up to the big 2003 built home and I quickly made note of a few exterior features that impressed me, like the 3 car garage, the huge deck and covered porch in back overlooking a built in swimming pool and a pond. The property backed up to a preserved area and there was privacy extending beyond the property line. Nobody would ever be able to build behind this house.
I was even more impressed when I walked inside and saw the open floor-plan. I was greeted in the entryway with soaring ceilings and a beautiful chandelier. Straight ahead was the two story family room overlooking the private backyard - no window treatments needed on those expansive windows. The view served as a natural mural. The windows were abundant througout and positioned so well, the walls were neutral and all this made the sunlit house feel fresh and clean and new. The house was very nicely decorated. The kitchen was huge and well layed out and also overlooked the natural features of the backyard. There were two staircases, hardwood floors throughout, a Jack & Jill bathroom and the master bedroom suite had large his/hers closets with an expansive bathroom which included a whirlpool tub. It felt like I was in a builder's model. I wanted this house for myself! But, I would simply be delighted to at least market this house! It was stunning!
The man who owned the house had an investment property I sold a couple of years back and I was happy that he thought enough of me to call about listing his family house. Being a repeat customer, there were no barriers between us starting out. I could easily settle in at his kitchen table and set the record straight. The market was changing and I told him that it wasn't a good time to sell. His response to me was, "but, if you're buying and selling in the same market you're not really taking a loss". Good point. And, I knew then that he would be a smart and realistic seller.

Upon listing his investment property a few years back, I had found out that one of the reasons he wanted to sell it was because he was "tired". It was a 4 family dwelling and he would get calls at all hours because of tenant issues and maintenance problems. Being the handy-man, he felt compelled to fix it all himself, including the tenants personal issues - some of the families had problems co-existing. He told me that he was also a softie, often letting them pay late if they had to. Now, this was not so much the reason for him selling. This is not what made him "tired". He explained that he had cancer a year earlier and although he was fully recovered his energy level just wasn't what it use to be. He was just too physically tired to deal with it any more. So, we sold the place and he had one less burden. It had been a money maker but his health issues put things in perspective.
So, when I sat down with him to sell his family house, I once again had to understand the reasons why. Turns out that when he built the house he was not fully prepared for the outcome of the tax assessment which eventually caught up with him. He was facing a $14,000 annual tax bill and he no longer had the income from the investment property. He and his wife were working like dogs to afford what they had. It was their dream house but he couldn't enjoy it because he was working overtime and running a side business. Apparently his bought with cancer had happened at just about the same time they moved into this house and they never had the opportunity to fully enjoy the lifestyle.
Fast forward....last year I sold their house and simultaneously found them a smaller place in a tree-lined neighborhood of older homes in the City of Poughkeepsie where the taxes are lower. They were delighted to be saving on mortgage and taxes. The 1920 built Craftsman style house had so much character, but better yet - it had a small attached apartment with a very sweet tenant who contributes to the house payment. As we put together the 2 transactions things were working out good - until he found out his cancer was no longer in remission. On top of that, we had combative buyers and sellers to deal with and neither had compassion when we were trying to work out occupancy agreements. I got them moved in, but the stress level was unbelievable. My client was spending days away in the hospital during treatments. On the day he moved, the movers had to work around him while he laid in bed. This is normally a physically fit man. By the time the 2nd closing rolled around we felt such a huge sigh of relief. It was a big burden off of my seller's shoulders, as well as my own. I lossed so much sleep during those weeks. My heart went out to this couple. But, the good news was that he was finally in full recovery again 2 months later.
A couple of weeks ago I bumped into the wife while I was at the doctors office. We had a nice chat as she brought me up to speed on things. She was very upbeat, and then suddenly she told me very nonchalantly that her husband is sick again. He is going to start treatments again soon and she was preparing to take some vacation time to help him through it. I was so bummed. This has been eating away at me. So, today I made it a point to sit down and send him a little email and I will follow up with another nice gesture - I just haven't decided what yet. This man has been an inspiration to me and I wanted him to know it. My message to him was as follows:
I know it's been a long time.... I ran into Mary Ellen recently and we had a nice chat. It was great getting caught up. It's hard to believe it's been a year now since the move. I understand you remodeled the kitchen and it sounds awesome. I'd love to see it. I told Mary Ellen that she should email me some photos. I imagined that this project makes the house seem complete now because everything else seemed to be in good shape. I know with her flare for decorating it probably looks even better than I remember it. I was saddened to hear that you are sick again. Please know I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you move back into fighter mode. In this changing real estate market with so many people loosing their homes I have to consult with more and more who need to face the reality of starting over. I have you to serve as a good example of how they need to put life into perspective and realize there are more important things than the house they live in, or the luxuries. I remember you telling me "what's the difference WHERE I sit and watch TV every night". And, you were one of the first people I ever encountered who told ME "if you're buying and selling in the same market your not really taking a loss". You have the common sense that many people don't because your health issues have put things in perspective. If only more people could have the same perspective it would be a kinder, less materialistic and pretentious world. It's hard for me to fathom why people use all their energy to fight their way to the top to have it ALL but loose sight along the way of the more important things - like health and family. I appreciate that you have been an inspiration to me and consequently I can help others understand. I hope you will start feeling better again soon - you've got my prayers behind you! Please sign me up for your cheerleading squad!
My message to all the readers of this post:
STOP! ...Stop taking life for granted. We've created a society where people think they have to have it all and there is so much pressure for us to show off how successful we are simply by the house we live in or the car we drive. STOP! Get rid of the ego! There is more to life than material possessions. People need to start becoming realistic about what they can afford and have financial cushions the unexpected situations that could cause a financial set-back.

I met with a couple last week and they were facing foreclosure because of health related issues. The husband is a man in his early 50's who suddenly found out one day he had a brain tumor. He's been out on disability and has mounting medical bills which exceeded insurance coverage. I was driving home from meeting with them and suddenly realized - this could happen to me! This could happen to anybody! Some people will read this and fantasize -"this only happens to other people". But, anybody who says this is not a realist! It could happen to anyone. And, if it happens to you - will you be prepared? Isn't time to ask yourself if you might be living in the clouds ?